


April 3rd

by The Little MerBucky (blue_pointer)



Series: The Salariman [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Boss/Employee Relationship, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Carriage Rides, Central Park, First Dates, Fuckbuddies, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Iron Soldier, Iron Winter, M/M, New York City, Past Bucky Barnes/Natasha Romanov, Podfic Welcome, Slow Romance, Stalker Tony, Super Gay Tony, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, angst-ish, buckyxtony, engineer bucky, heartbroken Bucky Barnes, salariman, sexual healing, the missing piece, winteriron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 02:45:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10376106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_pointer/pseuds/The%20Little%20MerBucky
Summary: It's finally here: Tony's first date with Bucky. Tony thinks about how he got to where he is emotionally, why Bucky is so important to him, and what he's going to do about it. When Tony's big plans fall through, he and Bucky have a quiet, vanilla date that turns out to be just what the doctor ordered.





	

**Author's Note:**

> They've slept together so many times...but I think this still counts as their first date.

Tony Stark had a problem. Like all of his major accomplishments, he’d made it himself. And though there was something to be said for taking pride in a job well done, he wasn’t sure that applied to situations you’d created that fucked your own life. 

He was head over heels for one of his engineers. That in itself wasn’t the worst thing in the world. Moving offices or even departments would solve the issue of conflicts of interest. No, his problem was much more complicated.

Because he’d gotten what he’d wanted too fast, and now he was having trouble going back and changing his answer.

A happy accident, when the employee you’ve been mooning over accidentally texts you a photo of a very intimate part of his anatomy. Tony could forgive mistakes, especially when they added to his porn bank. But they’d gone straight for meaningless affair, and that wasn’t what Tony wanted.

Well it HAD been what he’d wanted. Now he just wanted more.

Weeks. He’d spent weeks getting to know this new office, going through employee profiles, getting to know the bare minimum on all of his new worker bees, only to have all of his page-turning stop. On one particular profile.

This couldn’t be right. This guy? An engineer? Surely this guy should be auditioning on Broadway, heading west to pursue a career in film--or modeling. He might have seen this guy on a Spring runway in Europe. But here? In his office? What in the hell was this man doing here? In a grey felt box, pounding out code all day?

He’d quickly looked up the HR forbidden files: relationship status. Single. The word seemed to jump out at him from the page: SINGLE. For a man this age, this attractive, that could only mean one of two things: gay or very gay. Of course gay-single didn’t mean single, it just meant single for heterosexual record-keeping purposes.

So Tony had decided to feel him out. Take a look at this blue-eyed honey in person. Maybe he was just photogenic. He wasn’t. He was, in fact, possibly the single-most attractive person Tony had ever met. And that included a long parade of celebrities. Oh, it wasn’t just looks. Sure, he had those. But he also had a sweet nature. He was smart. He cared about his family. And he made the stupidest faces when he was excited about something that were simultaneously the most endearing thing in the world. 

All of Tony’s overtures had fallen flat. His daily pass-bys of Barnes’ cubicle were met with one word answers and looks of fear. Fear? Tony Stark wasn’t someone you feared. Well, you might fear how much you loved him. But other than that…

He’d kept on, trying different tactics, asking questions about work, personal questions--Barnes had three sisters. How did he know that? Well, he was just a good boss-- totally banal questions about the weather. Nothing seemed to work. He’d tried smoldering looks across the board room during seemingly endless presentations, only to be met with awkward smiles.

Very frustrating. He’d been considering resorting to bribery, perhaps even quid pro quo when the unthinkable had happened. And he’d thought perhaps his favourite employee had just been playing hard to get. That was, until Barnes had admitted it had all just been a mistake.

That had been a blow to Tony’s sizable ego. And yet, they’d been alone, he was not to be deterred. The way to a man’s heart was through his pants. Why everyone pretended otherwise, Tony would never know. After some brilliant oral sex, Tony had been rewarded with the hard dicking he’d been needing for weeks. Ridiculous how badly he’d wanted it from Barnes. And then he’d demanded it become a regular occurrence, all the while making it clear that this was not a relationship. This was not an entanglement. His engineer shouldn’t get attached, shouldn’t assume, shouldn’t presume.

Yet all the while, it seemed Tony himself had.

It was unacceptable. What was the deal with emotional intimacy? His father, the shrinks claimed. And Tony could accept that. His father wasn’t winning any parenting awards. And yet his mother had been great. Right? He loved her. Loving parents could still send their children away to boarding schools in Europe, right?

Two things his father had instilled in him through years and years of repetition: You had to make your own way in this world and no one would ever want him for anything except his money. A word to the wise from one billionaire to his heir.

The only thing was, Tony’s pet engineer didn’t want money. He returned half of Tony’s gifts, saying they were too extravagant, gave credit cards back unused, told Tony to stop buying things. He didn’t want a raise, he didn’t want a new office. And yet he wasn’t withdrawing sexual favors. So, what? What was it? It disturbed Tony. Something in his worldview wasn’t adding up, and he didn’t like that.

What would his father say? He knew what his father would say: stop shitting where you eat. The problem was, Tony didn’t have much of a life apart from work. Meaningless sex at parties, award dinners, and conventions was all well and good, but sooner rather than later, he would be back at work, and then what? It was a feast or famine scenario that had yet to work for Tony, especially given that Howard Stark’s heir was not allowed to be gay. Which added a whole other layer of complications.

More than anything what it was, was tiring. Emotionally exhausting. Making your own way in this world was fine when you had some kind of support network. Rhodey was only one man. The best man, but he couldn’t fulfill all of Tony’s needs. There was only so much he could do. And Tony wasn’t 25 anymore. At 30-something, he was looking to his own future, and seeing little but fame, fortune, and exhaustion, followed by premature death. Tony needed more. He needed someone gorgeous and giving, nurturing, who got a kick out of pleasing others, understood Tony’s work but could also argue intelligently about Batman vs. Superman. Someone experienced, but not jaded--that was his job. Someone who met melodrama with pragmatism. Someone with a sweet smile and oodles and oodles of patience.  

And he might have finally found that person. But he’d painted himself into a corner. Spent so long creating the illusion of a strings-free relationship, now that he was realizing that he wanted one, Tony wasn’t sure how to add the strings back in.

Worse, his engineer had gone off and met some big side of beef with no intimacy issues. Who touched and held and shared freely. Who went out of doors and exercised with his pet engineer. Who had…a dog. Who did normal, red-blooded American things. Who wasn’t terrified of commitment. Who didn’t need to pop pills and talk to a therapist just to get out of bed in the morning.

And here was Tony, having put off their first date for two months, for what? To play the game? Pretend indifference? Alright, his schedule  _ was _ busy, but that was only if he actually kept all of his appointments and actually made the business trips he’d booked tickets for, which he never did. Already he’d shown his schedule was more flexible than that, summoning his engineer over to his apartment to fuck him to sleep, as it were. More than once, he’d even stayed overnight. But those weren’t dates, hadn’t involved much interaction at all but the basics.

So what must his engineer think at this point? That Tony doesn’t want to be seen with him in public? Not true. He’ll make beautiful arm candy. That he doesn’t value him enough to hold a conversation not involving sex? They’ve almost done that several times now. Almost. Does he feel undervalued? Used? Disappointed? Tony thinks he might have seen that in Bucky’s eyes once or twice.

Lately, the distance between them seemed to be increasing. At first, their trysts were fun. Exciting. But now they knew each other’s bodies, it was...more like work, by rote, less spontaneous, fewer surprises. Almost awkward at times. Tony felt as though he was in danger of losing Bucky. And just when he’d decided he really wanted him.

But what to do? Tony Stark was not about to be outdone by some lunk alarm from the upper east side. He focused on their upcoming date. Their date, THE date, was going to be the most amazing outing Bucky had ever experienced. And at dinner, he would tell him. He would claim what should have been his from the start.

 

*

 

Bucky looked tired. “You look tired, sugar.” Tony stroked fingers through his angel’s hair, gently teasing his scalp. Maybe choosing a Friday for their first date, when they were both tired from a full week of work, hadn’t been the best plan. 

“Just a little,” Bucky smiled. God, he’d come to crave that sweet, closed-lipped smile.

“You still up for tonight? Not that you’re allowed to say no, but it makes me seem more generous if I ask.” Of course it wasn’t a question. There was only one correct answer.

“Sure.” But his eyes were distant, and he looked so tired. Tony wanted to...well, he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do about it. But sending his pet engineer home to sleep wasn’t it.

“Alright, cupcake, why don’t you run home and change. I’ll be by to pick you up at 7.”

“Change?” Bucky looked put off. “I thought we’d just head straight to dinner from here.”

“Aren’t you cute?” Tony smirked. “You thought we were having dinner in New York.”

Bucky blinked. He really was the human emoji. “We’re not?”

Tony was so pleased to answer that question. Could hardly contain his excitement or self-congratulations. “Be sure to grab your passport before you leave the house.”

“Passport?” From the look on his face…

No. No, this couldn’t be happening. Tony’s carefully-laid plan was not going to fall apart now.

“I haven’t had a passport since I was a teenager, Tony.”

“What?” He tried to make sure his smile was surprised and not angry. “What kind of businessman doesn’t have a valid passport these days?”

Now Bucky was starting to look annoyed. “One who never travels anywhere? Tony--”

He held up a hand to stop him. “Okay, my fault. I get it. I wanted to surprise you, and it backfired.” He took Bucky’s hand, smiled apologetically. “Silly me. Stupid Tony, always planning so far ahead I forget I’m leaving people behind.” He raised Bucky’s hand to his lips, kissed it. “I’ll tell you what. Let’s go anywhere you want. There’s still a whole country for us to explore.”

But Bucky was looking apprehensive. “Tony...I don’t want to leave New York. You gotta give me some kind of heads-up for travel plans…”

“Oh, come on,” Tony’s smile was more and more forced. His plans...his precious, precious plans... “We can go somewhere quick, be back by midnight. What about Boston? Have you ever been to Boston? Fantastic city! I’ll show you all my old haunts.”

Now Bucky was giving him an unamused look. “Tony...I went to MIT. I know Boston just fine.”

“YOU went to MIT?” Apparently, his employee profile- digging hadn’t been too thorough. He blamed Bucky’s pretty face for distracting him.

“Um. YEAH. We had a class together.”

Tony was stunned. “We did?” He could never have forgotten a face that pretty. Never.

“Li’s Numerical Computation class? You always sat at the front? Argued with him? Answered questions before anyone else could, to prove what a smart-ass teenager you were?”

Tony shrugged his shoulders, defensive. “Well, I was.”

“You were a little shit.” Tony couldn’t tell if Bucky was upset or amused.

“Well I...m sorry I didn’t remember. I don’t remember a lot of people from college.” That wasn’t strictly true. He remembered people who were important, who could get him things he needed, people who moved in the same social circles, which Bucky obviously hadn’t.

“I wasn’t your roommate, I wasn’t in your fraternity, and we didn’t sleep together.” Those seemed to be the only reasons Bucky could think he’d remember someone from college. And he wasn’t all wrong, but Tony felt guilty just the same.

“I said I’m sorry.” He gripped Bucky’s hand again. “Let me make it up to you?” Not that tonight was supposed to be about apologizing for not knowing this basic fact about his lover, but Tony desperately needed to get things back on track if he wanted to get to the finish line he’d envisioned.

Bucky was giving him one of those looks that said he was going to give Tony his way out of pity. That he was getting a free pass, even though he’d utterly failed to fix the thing that had upset Bucky. Tony hated those looks. He could accept sex based on one of those looks, but this? The date he’d been planning for weeks? Well, the important thing was to move out of this dangerous territory of perhaps not being worthy of a relationship with Bucky. Because he was. Probably. Well, he’d seen him first; he had dibs.

“Tony…” Bucky was looking down at his desk. Tony could feel something coming, something he knew he wouldn’t like.

“Okay, you win!” he said, pasting on a bright smile. “We stay in New York--but just this time. Next time, I promise I’ll plan better, I’ll give you a heads-up, and we’ll go somewhere. Anywhere you want.”

Bucky was tilting his head, reluctant. “Tony…”

He held up a hand. “Nope. No need to thank me. Wait until we’re there.” He grinned, sultry. “Then you can thank me all night.”

Bucky snorted a laugh, shaking his head. Sometimes Tony couldn’t understand why Bucky put up with him. Part of him really wanted to know. “Alright, Tony. You win. For now.”

So they didn’t change. Merely headed uptown to Shuko, where Tony wouldn’t let Bucky see the prices on the menu, but forced him to simply order what he wanted. Tony held his hand--under the table, there might be paparazzi about--for a good part of dinner, and Bucky kept casting him inquisitive looks, like he couldn’t believe he was actually on a date with Tony. And not in the ‘wow, is this really happening?’ way, but in a ‘why am I here with you like this? it’s weird’ way. Things were not going according to plan, though the food was as good as they might have had anywhere.

Tony tried to get Bucky to talk, but it was the same old boring small talk they made at the office, before and after sex. The conversation kept trying to shift to work, and he toiled tirelessly to shift it away. This was supposed to be fun, spontaneous falling in love, get-to-know-you type talk. But somehow, it wasn’t working out that way. Finally, Tony had to resort to telling embarrassing stories about his childhood. That seemed to do the trick. Bucky stopped talking as much, but he did laugh. Tony loved it when he laughed.

They left the restaurant arm-in-arm. Tony was half-drunk and had thrown caution to the wind. “Let’s go for a carriage ride around the park,” Bucky suggested on a whim. 

“What?” Tony whined. “That’s so plebeian.”

“Come on, Tony.” Bucky was smiling, towing him along. “It’ll be fun.” Sure, driving to midtown to ride around the park at night in an antiquated form of transportation was going to be a blast. But it was what Bucky wanted. Tony owed him that much.

Then, it turned out, it was fun. Mostly because of Bucky. He was smiling, chattering on, pointing out places of interest--apparently he jogged here every day. Tony could picture it, those long, muscular legs pumping away, tight buns only just covered by microfiber shorts, labored breaths fogging the crisp morning air. He was only half-listening to what Bucky was saying. It was much more entertaining to watch him. When Bucky stopped talking to glance over, Tony kissed him, and that was it. Well, not fully it. Their making out in the carriage was restrained, compared to how they usually did things. Bucky actually held him, kissing Tony over and over, like his lips were made of candy. It was nice. Not because he was in love, but for other reasons Tony couldn’t think of just now.  

Toward the end of the carriage ride, Tony didn’t really want nice anymore. He wanted to climb inside Bucky’s drawers and pay a visit to his favorite cock. With all of their making out, by the time the ride was over, he was so hard, Tony was half-tempted to finish it in the nearest men’s room. But Bucky was on a different page, happy, smiling, holding his hand, even swinging their arms a little. It threw a bucket of room temperature water on the flames of Tony’s libido. This was the kind of reaction he’d been shooting for, wasn’t it? He should take a step back, enjoy it.

“Where to now?” Tony asked him. Apparently Bucky’s place was close.

Tony frowned at the bare living room while Bucky opened a bottle of wine in the kitchen. “I pay you enough to buy furniture, don’t I?” he asked.

“I just haven’t had time to settle in,” Bucky called back. But it was one of the saddest uptown bachelor pads Tony had ever seen. There was one chair, an overturned milk crate which had obviously been used for a table, unpacked boxes, half packed boxes, and fast food wrappers jammed into a giant garbage bag in the corner. There wasn’t even a television.

“Who lives here?” he asked, glancing up at the one piece of art on the walls, a large painting of the view from the top of the empire state building. Bucky walked up behind him, handed Tony a glass of wine.

“I do,” he said.

“You don’t,” Tony accused, giving Bucky a disapproving look through his eyelashes. No one lived in a space like this. It wasn’t even cluttered with useful things like Tony’s workshops tended to be. He wasn’t sure exactly why it upset him to see that his pet engineer’s home looked like this, but it did. It really did.

“Sure I do,” Bucky sat in the chair, beckoning Tony to come join him. He perched on Bucky’s knee, feeling like a college coed. “I mean, I work late, and I’m not here that much, I guess, but it’s still...where I live.”

“You were about to say home,” Tony pointed out, “but you changed your mind.” He would send over a designer. That’s what he would do. Make this place at least look habitable.

“I’m still getting used to it,” Bucky shrugged uncomfortably. “It takes time getting used to a new place.”

“And living alone?” Tony guessed, leaning toward him, hope hope hoping that Bucky would stop looking so sad and just kiss him.

Bucky clenched his jaw. “And living alone.”

Tony leaned against him, stroked his jawline. “You’re really handsome...did I ever tell you that?” A distraction technique? Maybe. But also something he personally believed 100%.

Bucky offered a half-embarrassed smile. Score one for distraction. “Think you might’ve mentioned it a time or two.”

“No, I mean it,” Tony went on. “I’m not saying it during sex this time, so you have to believe me.” That sounded like a reasonable conclusion, right?

“I believe you,” Bucky looked away, clearly uncomfortable being admired. Which was ridiculous. Tony could mount him in a museum and admire him for days. Hmm. A museum...

He let his hand slide back, petting Bucky’s hair. “The minute I laid eyes on you...I knew. The first time I saw you.”

Bucky glanced back at him. “That I’m attractive?”

“No, dummy.” He kept on petting Bucky’s hair. Maybe he was more thought than he drunk he was. All of a sudden, he really needed to tell Bucky. He needed him to know. “That I wanted you.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Because that’s a totally appropriate response for a boss when he sees an employee.”

“I know,” Tony hung his head. “So bad about that. Transferred five offices now.” He nuzzled against Bucky’s shoulder, demanding comfort.  

Bucky was watching him carefully now. “So what happened to all those other guys?”

“All gone.” Tony waved an arm. “They didn’t last.”

Bucky was looking down again. And Tony started to get that same feeling he’d had at the office. That Bucky was about to say something he wouldn’t like. “Tony…”

“Wait.” He held up a hand. “I know what you’re gonna say, and I get it, you’re not sure where this relationship is going, but I got news for you--”

“Wait.” Bucky stopped him. “Relationship? Is that what you think this is?”

Tony could almost hear his heart falling into the pit of his stomach.

“Tony...this is only our first date. Relationship…” He looked downright skittish. “I don’t think you can really call it that…”

“You ...don’t want a relationship,” Tony guessed from the scared, unhappy look on Bucky’s face.

“And you do?” He almost looked angry, as though Tony were the last person he’d expect to want a relationship.

“Well, hunbun, strictly speaking, we have been meeting regularly for sex for two months now. You’ve been to my apartment more than once, even slept over. So if it’s not a relationship, it’s something. You have to admit that much at least.” Didn’t he? Tony’s eyes begged.  _ Please? _

Bucky was nodding, reluctantly, but he was nodding. “It’s...something.” He glanced at Tony. “I just didn’t expect…” He sighed. “You’re the last person I’d expect to demand a definition of what this is.”

“What? Who’s demanding?” Tony raised his hands in surrender, nearly spilling his wine. “I’m just saying I like it...whatever this is, and I want it to continue. Am I alone here?” Surely not. Surely.  

The look Bucky was giving him was part kicked puppy, part frightened rabbit.

“You don’t agree,” Tony guessed. Well, that was it then. Chalk up another fuck up, another failed relationship for old Tony.

Bucky grabbed his arm before he could work himself up to a good tantrum. “I don’t--I don’t disagree,” he said.

“I just… can’t we just go on having fun? Maybe more dates than booty calls, but...just have fun together, without having to call it anything?” 

Tony shrugged, still feeling defensive, rejected. Bucky tipped his chin up, forcing Tony to look at him. “Tony, I just came out of a five year relationship. Three months ago, I was planning my wedding.” He took a deep breath. “Getting into anything new this soon...it would be a rebound, and I don’t want that. For you or for Steve.”

“Steve?” Tony could feel his hackles rising. “Since when were we talking about Steve?”

Bucky was shaking his head, sighing. “I think he wants more, too.” He looked up. “But I just can’t give it to you, Tony. I just don’t have it in me.” He shook his head again. “Not now...maybe not ever.”

Tony just watched him, feeling like that time Howard took his presents away on Christmas Eve. “You say that like she ruined you for the rest of us.” Contract killers were still a thing, right?

Bucky shrugged. “Maybe she did.”

And he knew damn well Bucky was on guys now not because she’d turned him gay, but because a woman would have remind him too much of her. “Hey.” Tony covered Bucky’s hand with his own. “She did not ruin you.”

He was shrugging, shaking his head, disbelieving, feeling broken, useless.

Tony knew that feeling all too well. “Come here.” He wrapped an arm around Bucky’s shoulders and tugged him close. “You are a sweetheart. You’re smart, you’re talented, you’re drop-dead gorgeous. Anyone in Manhattan would be lucky to have you. Okay?”

Bucky hid his face in Tony’s shoulder. “So maybe you don’t feel up to anything long-term again. That’s understandable. You need some time. You need therapy--I’ve got several great doctors on speed dial, by the way. Just let me know when you’re ready.”

Bucky almost laughed. “But don’t give up on us, okay?” Wait, us? Was he really suggesting Bucky should keep seeing that other guy? “And don’t give up on yourself.” He kissed Bucky’s hair. “You’re worth it.”

Bucky wrapped both arms around Tony and clung. It was the first time he’d ever really opened up emotionally to Tony. And it scared the shit out of him. But that wasn’t the only reason Tony’s heart was racing.

“You wanna go lie down?” he asked. Because this was really uncomfortable to try and do, sitting in Bucky’s lap.

“Okay.” Bucky stood up, taking Tony with him, which was both insulting and thrilling.

“Put me down, you cretin,” he demanded, but not before wiggling suggestively in Bucky’s arms.  

“Okay.” And he did. Tony grabbed him by the wrist and towed him in the direction he hoped was Bucky’s bedroom.

“You’ve got a bedroom, right? With at least a mattress, I hope? Please tell me your life isn’t so sad that you sleep in a bag on the floor--” Ah, there it was. He tugged Bucky inside and turned to undress him.

Bucky let him, just standing there, forlorn, quiet. But quiet wasn’t a state Tony was going to allow to continue. “You’ve got PJs?” Tony asked him. “Or, you know, we could pass on those.” He stroked his fingers up Bucky’s bare chest, smirking suggestively.

Bucky merely shrugged. “No PJs? Or are you agreeing to my suggestions? Or do you actually sleep in the buff?” he leaned close to whisper, eyes sparkling with excitement. Bucky certainly slept without clothes when he was at Tony’s. But Tony’s apartment had a strict no-pants dress code.

“Shorts on,” Bucky muttered. Why wasn’t he reacting? Participating? It was making Tony start to worry.

“Alright, angel, I won’t strip you all the way down.” Though it was damned tempting. “Now go ahead and slide right under the covers, I’ll be right there.” Bucky did as he was told, looking more and more depressed.

Without further ado, Tony started to ease out of his own clothes. “Ahhhhh, yes.” It felt good to get the suit off. And though he didn’t favor wearing clothes to bed, when in Rome… “Just gonna borrow something, you don’t mind, do you, sugar?” He grabbed a pair of boxer briefs out of Bucky’s dresser. He was a little slimmer in the waist than Tony, but they fit okay. The perks of being...less than tall.

Then he crawled into bed with his poor depressed teddy bear. Talk of his ex always got him in a funk. “Come here, Bucky bear,” Tony said, opening his arms. “Come to Tony.”

To his surprise, Bucky did, wrapping his arms around Tony and tangling their legs together. “See? This is what you need.” It’s definitely what Tony needs. He could probably sleep every night if he had his Bucky there to hold him like this.

“Tony.”

“Yes, angel?”

“Why are you doing this?”

He wasn’t sure how to take that. Had he given the impression that he wasn’t capable of such a thing? Or was Bucky expecting to have to pay for it somehow? “Because I want to--I’m allowed to want things that indirectly benefit me, too, you know,” Tony said, his hand stroking over Bucky’s shoulders. “And because...I suppose I might like you...at least a little bit,” he added more softly, pressing a soft kiss to Bucky’s hair. “And I know you’d do it for me.” Not that Tony was in the habit of doing nice things for people just because they were nice to him. Well, okay, maybe he was. But usually he repaid niceness with items of monetary value, not gestures of affection. Bucky was different. Bucky deserved better.

His arms tightened around Tony. “It feels weird,” Bucky said. And he wasn’t wrong. But was weird a bad thing? Part of Tony felt like this was exactly what he’d been missing. It felt weird to suddenly find what you’d been missing, didn’t it? Like a that last washer you’d been looking for sliding into place somewhere you could feel but couldn’t see or touch.

“Am I doing it wrong?” he asked. “I’m doing it wrong, aren’t I?”

“No.” Bucky looked at him with a smile. “I’m just not used to being this close to you without…”

Tony’s heart rate picked up. “You wanna fool around?” Speaking of needful things you could feel sliding into place...

“A little,” Bucky admitted.

“What’s a little?” Tony asked, rubbing up against Bucky. “Just oral? A little foreplay? Sex with our shoes on?”

But Bucky seemed to want to show him instead of discuss it, reaching down for Tony’s dick and testing his interest level. “Can I blow you?” he asked.

“Do you even need to ask? No, you don’t. Blow me. Please.” He’d stopped saying ‘god, I think I love you’ after the first week, when it had seemed truer and truer each time, and started to freak Tony out. But he still thought it. More and more, as Bucky’s lips wrapped around him and his tongue started to work even before Tony was fully ready. “Oh, god…” Whatever Bucky was doing, he was full and hard, and it made his legs kick involuntarily. Tony gripped his muscular shoulders, closing his eyes. “Oh, please fuck me,” he begged softly. “Please, please fuck me.”

The lights were on, and true to New York form, Bucky’s bedroom windows had no blinds or curtains. As he bounced his way to ecstasy in Bucky’s lap, Tony happened to look out the window at the neighbors across the street. They were slow-dancing in their living room. In his mind, there was no music, just the soft footfalls of an old married couple. And he wanted that. All of a sudden, Tony wanted that. The old-age romance, the being part of a couple, the tender sweetness, intimate physical proximity that wasn’t purely carnal...

Tony’s orgasm took him by surprise. Apparently his mind hadn’t been in it--which did happen, but not with Bucky--but his body clearly had been.

“You okay?” Bucky asked him, because Tony’s eyes had glazed over, and one of his legs was still twitching.

“Mmhmm,” Tony replied, suddenly groggy. What had he been thinking a minute ago? It felt important.

“Was that...do you want more?” He sounded uncertain, having felt that Tony’s head wasn’t really in it. But Tony didn’t like that Bucky seemed to be working to please him. ‘Working’ being the objectionable word. Also that Tony was the only one whose pleasure Bucky seemed to think mattered. It went against his very nature, but Tony objected to that. For once, he really did.

He reached up, touching Bucky’s cheek. “Did you come?” It showed how far away Tony’s mind had been that he hadn’t noticed.

Bucky shrugged, uncomfortable. He hadn’t, then. And there was the distance that had been forming between them. Bucky’s commitment to their trysts had become more about Tony’s pleasure than their shared experience. “Oh, Bucky bear, why are you asking me if I’m done? You’re not here just to service me...are you? Surely you’re worth more than an expensive dinner and a carriage ride through central park?”

He shrugged again. “I like to.”

“Okay, well then I want you to listen, and listen good: If you’re not getting off, I’m not satisfied. Alright? Say it. I wanna know you get it.”

Bucky made a face. “I’m not gonna say it, Tony.”

“Come on.” Tony smirked. “Repeat after me: I, James ‘Bucky’ Barnes.”

“I, Tony Stark.” Bucky had that stubborn jut to his jaw.

Alright, if that’s how he was going to be. “Am the sexiest man alive.”

“Am the sexiest man alive.” Bucky smirked.

“And you are not allowed to sleep.” Tony wagged a finger at him.

“And you’re not allowed to sleep,” Bucky repeated.

“Until you come inside me.”

“Till you…” But that seemed to put an abrupt end to the joke. “Oh, Tony…” Suddenly Bucky was all over him again, thrusting that big cock deep inside him, and plowing Tony until he was truly full. In fact, he did such a number on him that Tony was starting to tingle again by the end.

“Oh, god, sugar, I just love your dick.” Tony rained kisses on Bucky’s jaw, his neck. “I love it. I know that sounds weird, but I don’t care. I just don’t.”

“Then you get it.” How was he still going? Bucky gripped Tony’s hip, one of his legs, and repositioned.

Oh, it hurt. The new angle hurt like hell, but in the best possible way. “Don’t stop,” Tony hissed.

“Come on, Tony,” Bucky prompted. “Come for me, baby.”

“No, I don’t want to,” he whined, gasping at every other thrust. “You’re mean. Hate you.”

“So fuckin’ mean,” Bucky purred, jabbing him hard where he felt it most.

“No...no!” Tony gripped the back of his neck, starting to writhe.

“Oh, yeah.” Bucky pinched his nipples, hard, adding to the bloom of perfect pain.

Tony’s entire body convulsed. His legs wrapped around Bucky. He thought he may even have kicked him once or twice. But it served him right.

“I like making you come again,” Bucky grinned, collapsing against him, sweaty and proud. 

“You’re an animal,” Tony groaned. “Nobody loves you,” he mumbled. “Belong in the zoo.

Bucky chuckled, pulling Tony close. He buried his face in the curve of Tony’s neck and shoulder. His hands stroked down Tony’s sides, dipping down to rub his pleasantly sore ass before settling on his hips. “Will you still be here tomorrow?” he asked, as Tony began to drift off.

“Hell yes,” Tony told him. “And I take my breakfast in bed.”

“What kinda breakfast?” Bucky asked.

Tony smirked. “Surprise me.”

Bucky kissed him on the cheek. “Thanks for stayin’, Tony.”

Tony stroked a hand over his hair, settled his arms around Bucky’s shoulders. “Anytime, babe.” And he really meant it, part of him desperately hoping it would become routine. He hated to think about his engineer knocking around this big empty apartment all alone, climbing into a cold bed to think about a life he would never have, thanks to someone who didn’t deserve him. “Any time.”

As he started to drift off, Tony remembered he’d intended to tell Bucky how he felt tonight, try to claim him exclusively. “Mine,” was the most coherent thought he could give voice to, reaching out to pet Bucky with his eyes closed. “My Bucky. Stay.”

Bucky chuckled. “Hey, I’m the one who lives here. It’s kind of a given.”

“Good,” Tony told him, patting Bucky again. “Good. Mine.” Tony fell asleep feeling as though he’d accomplished something.


End file.
